Lazy Relationships

Letting someone down.  We’ve all done it.  We offer up our time and then take it back.  We help someone out and then when we could really use help, the person that promised to return the favor metaphorically (or maybe even literally) closes that door in your face.

Is it human nature to let down the people around us?   The people that need us?  It seems to be a cultural norm when it comes to friendships.  The friend that is so grateful that you listen to their problems time and again, but when you have your own problems to sort through, they have a million things to do and life is soooo crazy right now.  Or the friend that constantly says “Let’s catch up soon, I’ll text you!” and never texts you.  Or even the friend that makes the plans and then at the last second always has something life-or-death come up out of the blue.

There are probably countless times that we’ve told ourselves “Oh, that’s just who so-and-so is.  They’re always like that.”  Why though?  Is it because we let our relationships consist of this kind of behavior?  Are we just too nice and accepting sometimes?  These are all questions I’ve struggled with and I have to admit, the closer you are to the person that disappoints you, the more it hurts.  The more of yourself you invest in someone, the more open you are to getting hurt.  I’ve always been (what I believe to be) a nice person.  I’m not the most trusting immediately or even the friendliest.  But I believe every person deserves a chance until they do something to lose my trust or respect.

Are niceness and weakness synonymous today?  I think this is a difficult question to answer, but my observations and experiences have led me to believe that the nicer you are, the harder it is to rely on the people around you.  I also believe that being nice gets you a lot farther when the opposite approach would be to just piss everyone off, resulting in everyone walking away angry.

So, if you have the opportunity to do something for someone this weekend, take advantage of that opportunity.  Take advantage of these opportunities because once they’re gone you can’t get them back.  Investing isn’t just a financial term, it applies to relationships too.  Invest and then reap the rewards, friends.  If your friend asks you to move and you say you can’t because you’re busy but really were just planning on binge-watching Netflix and eating a dozen donuts, you should help your friend.  Netflix and those donuts will be there when you finish helping your friend.  (Maybe the donuts won’t be, but if you leave them out that’s on you friend).

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